Charlie
One month ago you were placed into our arms at Hannah's Hope. We had the honor of walking through the black gates one last time with four other families, three of them also there to pick up their child. You were placed into my arms by your favorite special mother. There was so much fear in those eyes. So much sadness.
Charlie, you lost so much that day. Your amazing care givers, smells, sounds, language, and so much more. You have grieved this lose. You are still grieving this lose at times, but each day seems to be better.
One month ago was our "Gotcha Day" and we walked out of the gates of Hannah's Hope as a family. Before leaving so much that had been part of your life, your favorite special mother rocked you to sleep one last time. We left with you sleeping in my arms.
In this past month, you have been with at least one of us at all times. We have walked, bounced, rocked, sang, clapped, and held you close to comfort you as you grieve. We have rejoiced in your "Ta-Da" moments, which have been many, and applauded your many attempts to get to a "Ta-Da."
Although they are just our names, and not who we are yet, you call us "MaMa" and "DaDa." You sometimes respond to Charlie, which to be fair, you don't always respond to our voices yet. You sign when you want more leave in conditioner during your bath by raising your hands and opening and closing them. You do this multiple times during your bath, even when you don't get more conditioner. Today, for the first time, you initiated the real "more" sign during lunch, snack, and dinner. You even said "moe," which I took for "more" during lunch and snack.
Charlie, you have come so far from the screaming boy we held at Hannah's Hope and the hotel that first day. You seem to enjoy your "daw-gaw" Joey and have been petting him nicely. Together you eat at your high chair and he lays outside your door when you sleep. (Even though he really is timid, he likes to think he is a guard dog.)
You have improved in your sleeping and it no longer takes two, or more, hours to get you to fall asleep. You enjoy rocking with one of us in the recliner. You love to snuggle in the nook of an arm as you fall asleep.
You want everything to be a car. You push items across the floor and make "car-like" noises. Yet, you don't like playing with your toy cars. . .
You make the best monster faces. (Okay, we started "monster faces" to get you to open your mouth. You have a horrible gag reflex when you eat, but you don't always open your mouth. Now, when you are eating your puffs, you will do the monster face. Yes, we do practice getting you to open your mouth with food in it. But please don't do this in public, unless you are choking, or with your Uncle Spencer.)
You love to dance and listen to music. We clap, a lot, throughout the day. We play instruments. When you use your maracas, pictured or the sea horse one, you like to spin around in a circle on the floor. We sing songs and make weird noises. You have become awesome at making the motorboat sound.You enjoy music that is fast paced and loud.
You smile. You have many different smiles, but you now smile. At times it can be difficult to bring it out, but your eyes light up when you do. Your dimples come out and the hurt and pain so often on your face disappears. I love it when you smile.
You love it when your Dad tells you, "Best in the world!" Cutie, we love you so much and truly feel you are the best son.
Love,
MaMa and DaDa
One month ago you were placed into our arms at Hannah's Hope. We had the honor of walking through the black gates one last time with four other families, three of them also there to pick up their child. You were placed into my arms by your favorite special mother. There was so much fear in those eyes. So much sadness.
Charlie, you lost so much that day. Your amazing care givers, smells, sounds, language, and so much more. You have grieved this lose. You are still grieving this lose at times, but each day seems to be better.
One month ago was our "Gotcha Day" and we walked out of the gates of Hannah's Hope as a family. Before leaving so much that had been part of your life, your favorite special mother rocked you to sleep one last time. We left with you sleeping in my arms.
In this past month, you have been with at least one of us at all times. We have walked, bounced, rocked, sang, clapped, and held you close to comfort you as you grieve. We have rejoiced in your "Ta-Da" moments, which have been many, and applauded your many attempts to get to a "Ta-Da."
Although they are just our names, and not who we are yet, you call us "MaMa" and "DaDa." You sometimes respond to Charlie, which to be fair, you don't always respond to our voices yet. You sign when you want more leave in conditioner during your bath by raising your hands and opening and closing them. You do this multiple times during your bath, even when you don't get more conditioner. Today, for the first time, you initiated the real "more" sign during lunch, snack, and dinner. You even said "moe," which I took for "more" during lunch and snack.
Charlie, you have come so far from the screaming boy we held at Hannah's Hope and the hotel that first day. You seem to enjoy your "daw-gaw" Joey and have been petting him nicely. Together you eat at your high chair and he lays outside your door when you sleep. (Even though he really is timid, he likes to think he is a guard dog.)
You have improved in your sleeping and it no longer takes two, or more, hours to get you to fall asleep. You enjoy rocking with one of us in the recliner. You love to snuggle in the nook of an arm as you fall asleep.
You want everything to be a car. You push items across the floor and make "car-like" noises. Yet, you don't like playing with your toy cars. . .
You make the best monster faces. (Okay, we started "monster faces" to get you to open your mouth. You have a horrible gag reflex when you eat, but you don't always open your mouth. Now, when you are eating your puffs, you will do the monster face. Yes, we do practice getting you to open your mouth with food in it. But please don't do this in public, unless you are choking, or with your Uncle Spencer.)
You love to dance and listen to music. We clap, a lot, throughout the day. We play instruments. When you use your maracas, pictured or the sea horse one, you like to spin around in a circle on the floor. We sing songs and make weird noises. You have become awesome at making the motorboat sound.You enjoy music that is fast paced and loud.
You smile. You have many different smiles, but you now smile. At times it can be difficult to bring it out, but your eyes light up when you do. Your dimples come out and the hurt and pain so often on your face disappears. I love it when you smile.
You love it when your Dad tells you, "Best in the world!" Cutie, we love you so much and truly feel you are the best son.
Love,
MaMa and DaDa
2 comments:
OH MY WORD. I cannot believe how much he has changed! And that last photo of him smiling made me cry! Kara, these kiddos of ours are healing! God is amazing!
Thank you for sharing. What a month! Lookin forward to hearing of more healing and more love shine through him in the coming months.
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